That is a loaded question. It is also one of the most asked questions I get. Truly. So where does one even start? To be honest, the ego is not just one thing. It is comprised of multiple things that is unique to each individual. The question of "what is ego" really doesn't have a super simple answer... it is actually pretty deep and convoluted.
Upon hearing the word ego, most people conjure up an image of a smug asshole who thinks too highly of himself. Well, the ego in that sense is actually just a very small part of the picture. The truth is, we spend our entire life building up our ego - through various types of conditioning, belief systems, inner child wounds and projections.
So what? Why is ego so important?
This is a bit easier to answer. The ego plays multiple roles in our lives- it keeps us safe from harm, it keeps us comfortable. It also keeps us stuck. It keeps us playing small and living in a fear based reality. What do I mean by that? Let's explore a scenario shall we?
Let's say, one of your greatest dreams is to perform in front of a large group of people. In whatever capacity- be it in your own YouTube video, a public speaking event, singing in a concert or performing a play.... and you can feel this dream with every fibre of your being! So what holds you back? Why not just go for it? Because that little voice in your head tells you that you're not good enough... people will laugh at you or judge you. It is the fear of rejection and judgement that keeps you from going towards the dream. The "who are you to think you can do that" comes in and ultimately keeps you paralyzed. Convincing you the life you have is fine and people would be lucky to be in your shoes. Also, the fear of failure comes and rears its ugly head too, what if you fail? What would people think? My question to you is, why does it matter what other people think? Why is outside validation more important than living your dreams- fail or no fail? Do you see what I'm getting at here?
The ego convinces us to stay small- ultimately unfulfilled and not 100 percent happy out of fear of judgment, failure and what other people might think. Now if you've worked with me before or listen to my podcast or watch my youtube video readings then you know how I feel about fear.... what is fear?
False.
Evidence.
Appearing.
Real.
So, if we are able to free ourselves from underlying fear, then really the ego doesn't have a toolkit to keep us stuck.... uncomfortably uncomfortable. What if we were to just forget fear and fly? What if we redefine fear?
Fight.
Ego.
And.
Rise.
What was your first reaction when you read that last sentence? Did you feel empowered? Or was the first thing you thought "Yeah right"? That my friend, is the ego talking. What if I told you, the only thing that truly holds you back is you? What is your reaction to that? Did you feel strongly triggered? Sure there are things that are beyond our control.... doesn't mean that you can't be who you want to be, or react in a different way! It's all about how you choose to approach it.
The ego- although sometimes helpful, as we get older really become more of a hinderance. So... how do we change that? Well, it takes work, but the ego can actually be stripped down and stripped away. Carl Jung once said "The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it." It's the letting go of it that's the tricky part. But it CAN be done.
Let me tell you a little story.... I used to be super ego driven. I was always worried about being rejected or judged. I never used to share my opinions with people unless I absolutely trusted them 100 percent! (And there weren't many people I felt that comfortable with!). I was always thinking about the negative outcomes of situations... I didn't try new things because I was afraid I'd get hurt or that I would fail. I convinced myself that I wasn't good at anything, that I shouldn't try anything. I should just exist... tow the line... be grateful for what I had. The truth was, I always felt like something was missing. I was never fully satisfied with my life. I always felt like there was something more out there but never went for it because "that wasn't who I was". Guess what? Turns out.... the things I dreamt of, that my ego told me I could NEVER do.... that it wasn't safe.... I've done most of them now and couldn't be happier! Do I have the same life on paper that I had before? No. The same income.... nope. But my happiness and satisfaction levels are higher than they've ever been! I'm not afraid to give myself credit where it is due, I'm also not afraid to call myself out on my own bullshit when needed either. Taming the ego is a delicate balance.... but if I can do it, anybody can!
Sounds good doesn't it? Freeing yourself from the grip of the ego and living more authentically and free. It certainly isn't easy at first, but once you get it and start to recognize where it comes up into your life and in what ways.... let me tell you.... GAME. CHANGER.
Since I am so passionate about this subject, and it is something that cannot begin to be explained away in one blog post, I have created a program to help those who are feeling stuck, burdened and like there is more to life out there without having any idea how to break through and tame the ego that keeps them that way. Is this you? Are you feeling trapped, frustrated and/or triggered? Do you know who you truly are under all the conditioning, limiting beliefs and old wounds that are still popping up in your life? Do you want to learn how to strip away the ego and help to close the patterns that are keeping you from having the life you want?
My intention for this program is to help you deconstruct your ego and uncover the magic of who you truly are! Who you truly are.... what do I mean by that? I mean living a fulfilled life full of courage, clarity of life purpose with fulfilling relationships and healthy boundaries. An abundant, intention filled life with a deep understanding of self.
If you would like to know more about deconstructing the ego, and are interested in finding out more details about this life changing program, then please get on the waitlist here. I'll be sending out more information about the program, how it works, what it includes etc. over the next couple of weeks, so if you are interested then please do sign up. By joining the waitlist there is absolutely no obligation to sign up, it is simply giving you more information.
As I said, "what the fuck is the ego" is not a simple question by any means. Certainly not something we can answer in this short little blog post that's for sure! What you need to know, more than anything, is that is does exist, and you can tame it and strip it away and use it to empower your life instead of keeping you stuck!
Cheers,
R-